I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
