I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
