hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
