I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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