maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
