bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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