even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
