he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
