So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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