wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
