"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
