Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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