dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
