In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
