i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
