whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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