According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
false alarm, still single
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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