I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
