does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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