where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You did what with his pubic hair?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
