her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
