Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
