I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
