Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Found the puke drawer
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
