Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
