...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize