Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
