their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
