Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
