peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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