I'm really into asian looking animals
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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