Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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