Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
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