I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
