At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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