k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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