We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
