I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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