i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
