Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
