youre lurking in front of me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
