Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
