U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
