I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
