i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
