so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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