I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
