Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
