dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
