Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
