I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am mentally ready for anal.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
